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3 Steps for Embracing the Parts of Us We Hate

 need to lose weight.
I want to stop being afraid of success.

I want to end my self-sabotage.

I spent the first 30 years of my life battling thoughts like these.

In a world where fitting into a mold is welcomed and even encouraged, it is so easy and natural to fall into the pattern of trying to change who we are in order to become more like everyone else.

We focus on what we dislike and want to get rid of on a daily basis, but rarely on what we love and wish to keep, creating a never-ending cycle of trying too hard and then feeling like a failure.

But the more I tried to lose that weight, stop that fear, and end those habits, the longer these things held on. The more I struggled to release them, the tighter their hold grew, and the more challenging the letting go became.

We think that by ignoring something or telling these pieces of ourselves to leave that they will simply listen—but they don’t. Instead, they dig in their heels, plant their roots deeper, and scream louder than ever.

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